Theological Friendships

I have some friends, and mostly we see eye-to-eye on the issues of life.

But that hasn't always been the case.

I've had good friends who stood in a place quite different than I did. Most of those friendships were brief, but some have endured for years.

I've tried to think through what those enduring friendships have been like, and why they endured in spite of differing takes on things.

In some respects, we simply liked each other, and respected each other's integrity - that we worked at hard at what we believed, and we sought to live our lives faithfully in and through the love of Christ.

And while we might kid the daylights out of one another, our conversations were marked with a lot of listening and "I understand your point of view a little more clearly now."

I've learned that it's possible to understand someone's point of view and still not agree, but it's harder to vilify someone when you understand and respect them.

In terms of my friendships, understanding and respect came from a lot of early-morning breakfasts with ham and eggs and lots of coffee. "Okay, I'll see ya' again in two weeks." And looking back, humor played a huge roll as well - jokes and banter were as important as the ham and eggs.

In reality, I think such friendships are rare. Mostly, we hang around with those who stand in our corner. Makes sense. We like those who like what we like.

But Jesus reminds us that such friendship, or love, is no big deal. What's really a big deal is "loving our enemies."

I think Jesus chooses the word "enemy" to make something clear to us - that love can be far and beyond similarities and commonalities, and that such love is deeply ethical in how we view and treat one another.

I hold my convictions firmly - I guess that's what makes them convictions. But I've enjoyed the honest criticism of others who hold their convictions with equal firmness. But when we "love our enemy," we refuse to make the final move - that "I'm right and you're wrong." A friendship of differing views can endure when we bow before the mystery of God's grace and love - that we're both servants of the Most High God, both driven by honest and Spirit-impelled motives. Though our instincts want to bring closure to the argument, "You're wrong; I'm right!", we refuse to make that final move.

And with that, I've enjoyed some remarkable friendships over the years.

But can this be translated into an entire denomination where practices are at stake?

Where the question of ordination is on the table?

To be or not to be?

There are sane and reasonable voices who yet champion more conversation and better listening.

And while that might make for interesting conversations over ham and eggs, it hardly helps us out of the impasse of practice - to ordain LGBT persons or not.

Yet others who say, "The time for listening is done. We have listened to one another, and we understand one another. We're just in different places."

My heart aches for my LGBT friends, and when someone (usually straight) suggests that we need more time, I usually think, "Well, that's easy for YOU to say."

I offer no answers here.

Anyone who has read my previous postings know that I'm short on answers for our current situation.

Local option?

Gracious separation?

While I might enjoy friendships with folks of other persuasions, and benefit from lively discussion, I'm still left, as they are, with the question of practice.

And that's the divide for the denomination.

As I see it.