The Gruff and Generous Winds of Time

The gruff and generous winds of time,
Some fair, and others foul,
Make fine what was hewn.

Until that which is becomes was.
And was is forgotten.
And that which is forgotten …

Grist for the mill.

Something anew.
Formed and shaped by fresh winds.

To stand and share.
To make amends and build.
Until the winds do their work, again.

© Tom Eggebeen

A Graveyard Stroll

 A stroll through a graveyard ... 

Every marker, a testament to a million prayers,

A million prayers for healing, for mercy, for added days.

A million prayers crying out for life,

Just a little bit more, to love and to live,

To touch once more those we love, 

And know the comfort of their smile.

But every such prayer, finally, met:

A firm and resolute No! 

This far, and no further.

Time catches up with us, if you will.

Time lays down a boundary.

A boundary inviolable, finally and firm.

This far, and no further.

Time catches up with us.

Mortality muscles in and has its way.

This far, and no further.

Yet, how many prayers we've uttered.

In moments of desperation and fear.

How many such prayers have passed our mumbling lips.

Prayers answered with a firm and resolute Yes.

This far, and a little further.

A few more days.

A wee bit of love.

Laughter and peace.

This far, and a little further.

A firm and resolute Yes.

To God be the glory.

In life and in death.

In days added, and days bounded.

Time given, or time ended.

This far ... and I am with you always.

A firm and resolute assurance.

Save Us, We Pray

In a world of deep fractures and violence,
We are tempted to allege the guilt of others,
And protest our own clear and inviolable innocence..


Save us, O God, from such childish palaver,
That we might more honestly assess the nature
Of our broken and bleeding world.


For those injured, our prayers.
For the dead, our blessing.
For the grieving, our tears.


For those who can find no other recourse,
But their own death for the death of others,
We pray for the causes of such despair and hatred.


For the nations of the West which have so
Arrogantly toyed with the Middle East; the British
For the sake of India.


France for glory.
Russia for the Orthodox Church.
The United States for oil.


Bombs dropped from altitude kill, as well:
Children and babies and mothers and fathers.
And we say, "We sorry!"


And the rogue State of Israel continues
To foment outrage and instability.
While eradicating the Palestinians.


Where are the innocent?
Not in the capitals of power, that's for sure.
But the children.


Always the children, O God.
They're the innocent ones.
And Moms and Dads on their way.


O God, save us from mindless palaver.
The easy assignment of blame.
The autocratic pretense of political innocence.


Remind us, dear God, of Joshua.
Who ran to the man in the road.
Demanding to know on whose side he stood.


And the angel of the LORD said:
On no one's die.
And Joshua bowed down.


And so we pray, for the mechanisms of justice.
For a new resolve in the West to honor the Middle East.
To corral Israel and free the Palestinians.


And to pay attention to our Muslim neighbors and friends.
To honor those who seek for peace.
And correct the vast imbalances.


In a world of deep fractures and violence.
O LORD.
Hear our prayer. Amen!

Wars of Adventure

Let's tell the truth here ...
The loss of life
Occasioned by our Wars of
Adventure.

Have been pretty small.
I mean, tiny.
Compared to the
Great War.

World War 2, Korea or
Vietnam.
Small loses.
Compared.

But it's the profits, you see.
That keep the machine grinding
Away.
On a small group.

Of women and men and
Families.
Who join for duty.
Or hope for a better life.

Profits.
By the fistful.
Coursing through the government
Pipeline.

From our pockets.
To the reservoirs
of wealth.
To pay for their dreams.

Spiritual Failure

Just read a tiny prayer for those who grieve ... and it gave me pause.

I know a lot of folks who grieve today.
Their friends will never know it.
Clever are the ways we hide our tears.
So on we go.

The prayer asked for transformation.
That grief might turn to joy.
And that's the problem.
We hide our grief.

Because it hasn't turned to joy.
As everyone wants for us.
That's a cruelty, for sure.
So we hide our "spiritual failure."

Victory - What an Odd Word

Just to say a few words ... but what are words?

Strange things, to be sure.

An amalgam of letters, and what are they, but symbols from

Some ancient past.

When folks told stories by campfire.

And in time,

On cave walls, or

Parchment, or 

Vellum,

To become a scroll, a book, a story from the shelf, a

Tall tale of giant sea monsters and

bright stars ... to make children shudder with

Delight ... or shriek with laughter, or

Curl up and go to sleep,

Dreaming of ancient heroes and warriors,

And high waterfalls and wintry mountains,

And ...

Just to say a few words ... but what are words?

In my time, they launch a ship into the sea, and the ship goes off to 

War ... and women and men fight valiantly, for dimly known

Causes ... but for the one at their side. And too many die

For the sake of conquest or victory, and talk about strange word?

What does victory mean?

When standing in a pool of blood?

With death all around?

In the midst of our constant, unyielding, mortality?

Is it immortality that we desire?

In the death of others, we might add more time to our failing candle?

Is it power that delights us?

Our testosterone-driven stories?

Victory! What an odd word!

Life and Death

From our Youth Director, Deondra Morris ... a thoughtful, powerful, piece - about death and life, with her permission.

**********

Today has been an interesting day. Interesting because when I woke up this morning only one thing was on my agenda... 8am meeting, and then entire day to live life. That's it. no planning, just whatever, whenever, and with whomever I pleased. To find adventure, to live life to the fullest. Isn't that what we all subconciously ask for? I even posted my non-plans on my fb feed this morning, but oh how circumstances change you, and it's strange to me how those circumstances doesn't even necessarily have to pertain to you as an individual. One very prodominate charateristic I possess is I have a heart for people. I love the "unlovable" as they so often seem to call themselves. I'm drawn to these people and that feeling rushed over me as if I were drowning in it this morning.

This morning, while at the Santa Monica Pier, I watched a man draw his last breath. Little did I know that the seat I chose would provide me with a perfect view of the entire scene. I watched as the rescue squad performed CPR on his lifeless body, as they moved him from the truck onto the ground and his arms and legs fell limp. I watched as the ambulance pulled up with the gurney, but drove away empty, no sirens. I watched as they covered his body with an orange tarp and the police officers, forensics and resuce team spoke about the incident. These images being jolted into my mind shot me to a place far from where I actually was. This man was dead. He didn't get to have a life adventure today. He didn't have any family or friends around. Did he have any family or friends? Did he have anyone in his life that he knew loved him or that they knew he loved them? What were his last thoughts? Did he die alone? Did he have plans for the day? Did he have hopes and dreams unfulfilled? These are questions that I will never know the answer to.

My day has continued. I had a wonderful lunch with a friend, I walked the Promanade and listened to a young boy play his guitar, I felt the cool ocean wind, I talked with my mom, dad, and sister, I came home to great roommates and a cozy apartment... all of these things I take for granted was noticed today. and for what? Because a man died?... well, yes. My answer to my own question made me realize something - death isn't ever in vain. It effects people. I've been effected over and over by death and each time I take away something different. My first encounter was my Mimi - and one of the last conversations we had she and I were laying on the bed and she told me to "Live each day as if it mattered, because it does. No matter what we're going through, how bad it is or if things are sailing smoothly - just live." We often times get so caught up in the details of life, we forget how amazing the rain sounds or how the sun feels or the beauty of a flower. We forget to tell and show people that we love them. We shut the ones we need the most out of our lives because we can't bare to smile in the face of adversity, instead we shelter in the things/people that allow us to continue hiding. We become fake. And yes, I do say "we".

People ask me over and over, "why are you so happy?" "How can you deal with this?"... and this is the reason: I am never promised tomorrow, so why worry about it. Yes, we have the anticipation that tomorrow is going to be there, even next week, next month, next year. But what about today? Did I breathe? Did I smile and laugh? Did I tell someone how amazing they are and they are loved? That's what fulfills my day - and my life. I never know when I'm going to draw my last breath and I dont' want my last breath to be one of pain, suffering, doubt, confusion, hurt, selfishness, and pride. I want it to be one of happiness, love, contintment, fulfillment and confirmation. Through my life I want to love people - love the "unlovable", live life and take others on adventures, and when my time comes, through my death, I want to inspire people to live life to have that effect on the people around them.

I had an encounter with a man today, whom I have never met, never exchanged a smile or a greeting, nor even knew his name, but he effected me.